21.10.14

5 Years Post-Stroke: A Memory of Wiggling Toes


I've never mentioned this to anyone - not because of any particular "secrecy" reasons except that the reference might fly over folks' head - ESPECIALLY for people have not specifically seen Quentin Tarantino's KILL BILL Vol:1! Having said that, there is a specific sequence which sort of guided / helped me thru the early days of my Stroke!

There is a particular scene, where "The Bride" AKA Beatrix woke up from her coma (while being raped on her hospital bed, while comatose), where after she killed the perp(s), and she managed to crawl her way to a wheelchair, and to the carpark, and finally found the "Pussy Wagon", and climbed into the backseat. The next scene however, is the specific scene I am referring to.


There Beatrix sat, her eyes fixed on her stiffened feet, and she repeatedly said to herself; "Wiggle Your Big Toe". THIS was the exact mantra I repeated to myself in my head, in the early days when I was lying in hospital bed in Changi Hospital Acute Stroke ward, when my right leg (from my entire right side of the body) could not move.

I stared at my right feet days on end, trying to wiggle my feet. Desperate but insistent and sincerely hopeful that, by sheer will alone, I could begin to move my feet, and then eventually the leg, and subsequently regain my mobility, and thusly "independence".

The notion of "Independence" is a strong desire that needed to be addressed, be it in the minds of older folks (who do not want to be a burden to others) and younger-ish folks (who do not want to loose the ability to chart their own futures, or "be able to walk towards it", so to speak), IMHO.

I cannot be sure if that "wishful hope" was sufficient (and from the amount of parodies and spoofs seen on youtube, seems folks think it sufficiently "funny"), but I had also gone thru over a month of intense rehabilitation at the hospital (and subsequently at St. Andrew's Community Hospital), until the day I left to go home sat in a wheelchair, but could still stand and shuffle my legs, for a short period of time.

No regrets at all, and I am in fact thankful for the image in my head, to give me a semblance of - even if it is a pop-culture fueled - "hope", that I would be able to walk again LOL

This image posted above is illustrated by French comicbook artist Nicolas Bannister, and whenever the scene appears, will always remind me of the time when I tried to wiggle my toes :)

Today, October 21st, 2015, marks the fifth year I have survived Stroke.
And yes, I can now wiggle all my "little piggies" :)

Cheers and thank you for reading :)
Andy

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